Seven Mistakes Loved Ones Make with an Addict
April 4, 2018 - Life in Recovery, Love and Relationships, News & Articles, Relapse and Recovery - 0 Comments
I had finally accepted the fact that I am an addict, and I went to treatment on my own.
I figured I had got myself into this mess, so I should be the one to get myself out. In my mind, it was either that or getting back into the bed I made and lie in it., but that bed had become hard as a rock over the years. And at 26, I was simply too young to be feeling that old.
I entered a residential drug rehab program, and after the first few weeks, I started to really love the place. I was getting healthy and strong, figuring out who I really was, and making plans for the future.
Then I came home and lasted about three days. An epic failure.
My family staged an intervention and convinced me to go through another program. This time I was to let them support me when I got out..
Okay, whatever. My way obviously didn’t work so I was willing to try theirs. 90 days later, I came home to an addict welcome wagon. My mother had a big dinner planned, and my cousin CC, an addict in recovery for over a year, announced that she would be moving in with me for awhile.
I suddenly realized that I had gone from doing this on my own to seemingly not having a voice at all.
I got up the next morning and put on a pot of coffee. When I came back into the kitchen a few minutes later, CC was pouring it down the drain! When I asked her what the bleep she was doing, she said that coffee is another addiction, and that you can’t stay sober by replacing one addiction with another.
Then she said, “You’re lucky to have me here watching out for you. I had to learn everything the hard way.”
Funny, I wasn’t feeling very lucky.
After a couple of days of CC micromanaging my life, I escaped to my mom’s house. I sat down at the kitchen table enjoying the first cup of coffee I had since I got out, and then she says, “You’re not going out applying for jobs dressed like that, are you?”
When I explained why I hadn’t gotten that far yet, she said, “Well, I can’t keep paying your rent forever, you know.”
I wanted to get high so bad at that moment. Instead, I went out and found an AA meeting I liked. Now those people knew how to help! I left there with a sponsor and a brand new game plan.
So, for all of you people who want to help the addict in your life, beware of these common mistakes:
- Everyone has to follow their own path to sobriety. What worked for you isn’t going to automatically work for anyone else.
- Your loved one doesn’t come out of rehab “fixed” like a broken toy. Give them time to chart their own path.
- Don’t take things personally. Our building a firm foundation for sobriety must come first.
- Let us make our own mistakes. It’s how we learn what works for our sobriety.
- Communicate with us. If you don’t understand, ask us to explain it to you.
- Don’t Assume. Ask us how you can help.
- Leave the past in the past. We’ll both be miserable. Remind yourself that I am the right path now.
Remember, no one wakes up one day and decides to be an addict, and nothing you’ve said or done has caused it. Sobriety is a journey you’re taking together.
Please contact Lighthouse Treatment Center today for more information. We are to help and happy to provide a no-cost, no-obligation consultation with one of our experienced treatment advisors.
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