I got pregnant at 17. My boyfriend and I had been together for two years, and we were already planning to get married. We just had to move up the date a bit.
We were married in a civil ceremony two months later, and three months to the day after that, Amanda was born. However, Jeremy had a hard time finding and keeping work.
At three years older than me, he had some priors and a real problem with authority. I was still living at home with my overbearing mother, desperately hoping that he would get his life together so we could get our own place.
Finally, I told him that he was not going to see Amanda until he got a decent job and kept it for awhile. Then, the first tragedy hit. Jeremy was actually on his way to a job interview when he was hit and killed by a drunk driver. It broke my heart.
Meanwhile, there I was, with no high school diploma and no prospects, feeling trapped in my mother’s house. I finally decided to go for my GED at night, while my mother watched Amanda.
Then one day the unthinkable happened. Amanda disappeared from my mother’s back yard. She was found two weeks later in a wooded area behind the projects in a shallow grave. My world simply collapsed.
I had always smoked a little weed, recreationally. After losing Amanda, I was smoking every day, all day long. As time went by, though, it was getting less and less effective. Then I was introduced to heroin, and it was love at first sight.
Mom got fed up, staged an intervention, and they shipped me off to a rehab in CA. It was supposed to be one of the best in the country. It wasn’t.
Now sober, I was confronted by a host of emotions that I wasn’t getting any help with. So I called my long-suffering mother and asked her if I could come home. Of course, she said no. But she did find a better treatment center for me.
The very first thing I learned there was that I had to work through all of those emotions that were left raw from all the trauma I had been through. It was a vital part of my recovery process.
I also learned that when trauma victims or their loved ones are searching for a rehab, there are five very important questions they need to ask before making a commitment:
1. Do they offer individual therapy sessions?
Find out if they have a therapist who specializes in trauma therapy and offers private sessions.
2. Do all counselors have specialized training?
Ask for a list of qualifications and how often they are updated in trauma education. It is critical that your therapist is sensitive to your special needs.
3. Are they respectful of each client’s special needs?
It is important that they talk to you and learn your triggers so they better understand your individual needs and you feel safe with them.
4. Is the facility co-ed?
If I am a sexual assault survivor, for example, I am probably not going to want to be around any men at this time.
5. Are confrontational tactics used?
Many addicts, myself included, find that this type of therapy causes flashbacks, which is counter-productive.
I am happy to report that after being placed in the right facility, I was able to come to terms with all I had gone through and focus on healing. I have now been sober for seven awesome years.
Please call us at Lighthouse Treatment Center today. At any time we are happy to provide a no-cost, no-obligation consultation with one of our experienced treatment advisors. Contact us today to discuss your situation in confidence.