Everyone knows how difficult everyday life is for an addict, but what about the people who love them? Unfortunately, with all of our energy being devoted to trying to help them, we often forget to take care of ourselves.
It occurred to me if my loved one did decide to get sober, I might not be there to support them. I started doing some research and found there are many amazing books out there filled with a wealth of information that have helped me to cope with the challenges of loving an addict.
Here are five of them:
1. Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help
by J. Foote, C. Wilkens, N. Kosanke, with S. Higgs
This is not another tough love book. It provides options other than detaching from your loved one in order to persuade them to go to rehab by showing you how to perform a more active role using the power of love. Recognizing the fact that positive change takes thought, planning, and time, it helps take the pressure off of both of you while teaching you how to create an environment where positive behavior is rewarded by your collaboration, support, and affection. It also focuses on the all-important self-care you need to keep you healthy and hopeful.
2. Co-Dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and..
by M. Beattie
When your addict’s addiction becomes your problem, chances are you are co-dependent. Sadly, when someone we love becomes addicted, this is what usually happens. It is a natural extension of things, because when we love someone, we can’t stand to see them hurting, and we find ourselves throwing everything else aside to help them. Unfortunately, those instincts can make a bad situation worse. If you feel as if you have lost sight of your own life as a result of your loved one’s addiction, this book is for you. It does a fabulous job of showing us how to gain control over those co-dependent tendencies.
3. Don’t Let Your Kids Kill You: A Guide for Parents
by C. Rubin
Co-dependency is probably at it’s highest when dealing with your addicted child. No love is greater than that of a parent, so the risks of losing yourself are also higher. This book is guided by the principle that self-care is not selfish, especially if you have other children in the home.
4. Loving the Addict, Hating the Addiction: For Christian Families
by K. Sims
Regardless of whether or not you are a Christian, this book is filled with valuable information documented first-hand from a minister who had dealt with addiction in her own family. She displays the understanding of someone who has been there by chronicling her experience that eventually filled her with strength and hope for the future.
5. Soaring Above Co-Addiction: Helping your Loved One
by L. Espich
While sharing some traditional recovery methods, this book features some holistic teaching tools as well. The author divulges what what worked for her and what didn’t, but she also shares how she learned to do that while still taking care of herself. With her loved one now in recovery, she offers a lot of hope for the rest of us still battling in the trenches.
Remember, you didn’t cause your loved one’s addiction, so you can’t be expected to fix it. Staying healthy, however, will enable you to walk with them on their journey to sobriety.
If you or someone you love is struggling with drug addiction or alcoholism, or you just have questions, please call Lighthouse Treatment Center today. We are happy to provide a no-cost, no-obligation consultation with one of our experienced treatment advisors. Help is available today.